Late Fruit: Survivors of The Fig Tree

This series reflects a period of transformation, drawing on imagery from Sylvia Plath’s writing, most specifically her novel The Bell Jar. These paintings explore the experience of choosing later than expected, yet making a choice nonetheless, and committing, imperfectly, to a new path despite uncertainty and fear.

I first encountered The Bell Jar and Plath’s fig tree metaphor during a time of major change as I was entering my 30's. Though I had achieved many of the things I had long sought out and dreamt of, I realized I had no clear sense of who I was outside of being a mother, wife, sister, or daughter. Always something to someone else, I felt I had no identity of my own.

Plath’s image of the fig tree, with each fruit representing a different possible life, captured a fear that had been difficult to articulate: choosing one path meant losing all the others, and waiting too long could leave you nothing at all. I had made my choice long ago, and now could neither reclaim the past nor step into the future.

Realizing how closely I related to her work, and knowing how her life ended, forced a shift in me. I could no longer stay suspended in possibility. The longer I ruminated on the past, the longer I would remain there, doing nothing, wishing I’d done more. As important as being a wife and mother is to me, I felt an all consuming need to pursue my dreams as an artist, so I ate the second fig.